the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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