"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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