but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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