I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
