Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
