You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
