Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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