Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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