There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
