I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
