Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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