so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
smell my finger.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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