In the future we'll all be gay
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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