I'm eating all of the evidence.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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