my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
