i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
