8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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