I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
