There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
