I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
