"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize