did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
