I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
