How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
