No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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