i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
