You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
