Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
