it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's rum buckets o'clock
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i now understand why vodka
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
