Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Someone came in the potted fern
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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