guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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