im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
