You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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