The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
