That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
