in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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