Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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