I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
me + whiskey = a bad person
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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