HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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