so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
