I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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