he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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