sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
