Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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