Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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