I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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