I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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