as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
