Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
