He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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