OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
