I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We are all done wearing pants today
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
