my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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