I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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