Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
