Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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