i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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