her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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