Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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