Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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