i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
