dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
