I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
