just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
