Dignity is for republicans.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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