Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize