one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
