then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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